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Author Topic: That's Jokes  (Read 32027 times)

Offline Seul

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #30 on: February 19, 2011, 03:57:26 pm »
It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

"what do you mean?" he said

"well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

"sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

I said "what the hell happened to you?"

He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."


 ;D

Offline Loveyuer

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #31 on: March 11, 2011, 01:53:36 am »
Humerous, quite laughing
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Offline Finn666

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #32 on: March 11, 2011, 09:10:05 am »
Too good Geo :D...

Offline D97x7

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #33 on: March 11, 2011, 09:57:44 am »
Excellent Geo

Offline Geo

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2011, 05:51:01 pm »
ok so you all know how awesome injunjack is on the WAYCT thread? well just found out he used to run a little restaurant which sadly failed  :(

basically he opened up a place that didn't have a fixed menu as such - the USP was that the customer could order any food combo he or she wanted and if the kitchen couldn't supply it within reasonble cooking time then IJ would pay the customer $100,000 cash

well this little place went great guns for weeks . . . cooking and selling weird and wonderful dishes to all that ordered . . . in fact IJ's fame spread far and wide

then one day nemesis visited the place

IJ came out, complimented Nem on his jawns and took his order:

'elephant's ears on toast' said Nem
'no problem' answered IJ

so off he scurried back into the kitchen . . .

moments later there was the sound of pots crashing off walls and some less than muffled swearing, then IJ came out of the kitchen, straightened himself out and walked up to Nem's table

'i am sorry to say we cannot provide you with your dinner - please take this cash and leave my restaurant' said IJ
Nem laughed   'ha! i knew you wouldn't have elephant's ears!'
IJ   'nope . . . it wasn't that'
Nem   'then why are you paying up?'
IJ   'we ran out of bread . . . .'
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

Offline Seul

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #35 on: April 13, 2011, 06:04:44 pm »
 ;D

Offline injunjack

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #36 on: April 13, 2011, 06:15:09 pm »
 :D ;D :)
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Offline bertoni

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #37 on: April 13, 2011, 06:23:16 pm »
Chap goes into a greasy spoon and the geezer behind the counter asks what he wants.

"I'll have a full english please mate...but I want the fried egg burnt to a crisp on the bottom and hard in the middle and totally raw on top. I'd like the bacon so crispy that it flies all over the place as soon as I put me fork in it. I'd like the sausages hard and chewy on the outside but uncooked and pink on the inside, the fried bread so black it tastes of coal and the tomatoes ....

Bloke behind the counter: Hold up hold up! I ain't got time to do all that!"

Customer: "Well you fuckin found time yesterday!"

Offline Geo

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #38 on: April 13, 2011, 06:29:23 pm »
 ;D

that was IJ's first effort . . .
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Offline Seul

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #39 on: April 13, 2011, 06:30:22 pm »
When the elephant was still cooking...

Offline Geo

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #40 on: April 13, 2011, 06:33:27 pm »
. . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

nemesisnow1200

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #41 on: April 13, 2011, 06:37:37 pm »
cool joke Geo,,, ;D

Offline Seul

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #42 on: April 13, 2011, 06:39:11 pm »
. . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

You try making an omelette with a trunk...

nemesisnow1200

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #43 on: April 13, 2011, 06:43:57 pm »
nah Seul,,you need eggs

Offline Seul

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Re: That's Jokes
« Reply #44 on: April 13, 2011, 06:48:18 pm »
Oh everyone's a comedian here innit!..  ;D